Monday, July 30, 2007

Just Not Feeling Me

You know, I've always been prided (if that's a word) in my ability to juggle my daughter, school, and work. But I know I can't do it all.

Now most of you aren't single moms. But let me explain something about me being a single mom. It's something I chose to do. Yeah I could've stayed with Missy's dad.....but I CHOSE not to. I was 24 and full aware of the hellish road ahead of myself. I knew it would be a constant battle day in and day out, hoping the outcome would be glorious.

But here's something I never thought about. Can you be jealous almost of your daughter's love for that other family????

A little background.....Missy hasn't seen her dad in 16 months (this was by his choice, not mine but he moved to West Virginia and never called again). She hasn't seen his parents or siblings since then either.

Well the other grandma came into town on a whim and wanted to see Missy. I let her see her. It's not her fault her son turned out to be a horrible father. She shouldn't be punished. So I let Missy see them.

They bought her presents. They took her to the zoo. They spoiled her and bought her anything she wanted. So all day on Sunday all I heard was "Granny this and Granny that."

A little of me felt sad. I can't afford that pretty little laptop Granny bought. I can't afford much other than daycare and the roof over her head! Will my daughter still appreciate me as much as the woman that bought her the "best gift ever?" It's all very humbling....let me tell you!

How am I supposed to feel???

Oh and when I woke up and got dressed this morning.........the button came flying off my capris. God and his little jokes on a Monday....I thank you for that!


Crooked Eyebrow said...

Presents are presents, not love. Nothing can ever compare with a mommy's love.

Presents are usually forgotten and tossed aside, a mommy's love never is...

Keep your head up chicky!

Peanut Butter and Jelly Boats said...

I was thinking the same thing...nothing compares to mommy's love. When she falls down & gets hurt, she won't want the laptop, she'll want nothing but her mommy.

Somehow, I missed this post the other day- just getting to it now. SOrry about that.