Monday, September 29, 2008

I Am Thankful

I am thankful to everyone who is there for me during this hard time. You never really know what you have until times like this. And I have some of the best friends in the world. Missy had a wonderful weekend thanks to my mom and two of my friends. A friend of mine, who doesn't blog, took her to a fair on Saturday and swimming. And you all know Sheryl, she has been my church mom all along. I never have had a chance to blog about her stepping in and taking Missy to church. But, she is now revealed! Missy is having a wonderful time going to church with her. For whatever reason, I think it's amazing she is being called by God to follow Him. Sheryl and her husband Scott really couldn't be anymore of a perfect match to help her through this journey.

Right now, I am kicking myself. I gave up just about everything to move in with the Tiger. All my belongings were either sold or given away because he already had a house full of stuff. So, now when I leave all I have is one dresser, one bed, a bookshelf, toys, clothes, and a cedar chest. Everything else I am going to need. Note to self: Do not make this mistake again.

Yes, I am giving up school until January. I am sorry this will disappoint everyone. But, I cannot continue to go to Nursing school full time, work full time, and be a mom. Time to get off my butt and go back to work full time. I plan to enter back in school in January, possibly with a new major. One that I go to school part time and it not affect my life too much. Maybe something online would be ideal. Oh wait, I won't have a computer either. There's always my parents.

I've made a resume' and emailed it to a girl that manages an employment agency. I have an appointment to fill out an application there tomorrow so they can start placing me. I am trying for a job in Indiana, before I attempt to have to go back to Chicago. I don't want to do the commute again. But, that's where the money we will see.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Please Turn The Lights On

It's dark in here. Someone turn the lights on. Please pray for me. This should be, by far, the saddest blog I hope to ever write. Life can't get any worse right now.

Last December, right before Christmas, I wrote a sad poem. I can't find it right now, because it was before I labeled all my posts. And I just don't have the energy to search for it right now. But, it was a poem about something that broke my heart.

9 months later and I am still not over that night. I don't think I ever will be. Tonight, my life took a turn I never thought it would go.

The Tiger and I broke up. Shocking, I know. I keep thinking over and over in my head. Is this real? How does a love you thought would never end all of a sudden just end? We haven't gotten along in a really long time. I've just been fighting the inevitable. But, it finally came out in the open. It is what it is.

So, now the questions play into my do I say good bye to 2 and 1/2 years? Where will I live? How will I finish school without his help? And what will I tell Missy? I have no idea how to tell her. How can I tell her that I managed to fail at giving her the only chance of a dad she ever had? I am not perfect. I really didn't fail. It just wasn't meant to be. I am not really to blame for this. Or am I? It still hurts so bad. I have a final on Monday. I don't have time for this. But, I must face it.

Please let me be strong and make it through this. It's late. I have no one to call. So I poured my heart out in my blog. Sorry if I've upset anyone.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

And The Wedding.......

I will have more pictures soon. I am waiting for the CD that's going around to print out all the awesome pictures! But, for now these will have to do.

The dress fit perfectly! 13 lbs. down.....

The Maid of Honor Wore Pink

The New Mr. and Mrs.

What a Beautiful Couple!

That's all I have for now, but I don't have the CD yet to show you the rest! Someday they will pop up out of nowhere..........

Friday, September 5, 2008

Real Quick! A Cute Picture

A friend of mine emailed me this pic from Labor Day. It's so cute I think. And neck looks skinner.

Off to the "wedding weekend". See ya when I get back!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Wanna See Something Gross?

Disclaimer: A follow up in my last blog. A wonderful girl that I've been friends with for years has volunteered to join the "Missy Goes To Church" team after reading my blog. I won't reveal her just yet, she knows who she is. She is a wonderful person and one of my dearest of friends. She reminds me of Mary Poppins. So poised, good natured, pretty, but she dresses better! This weekend will be their first outing and Missy is SO excited. More about that next week.

Now on to todays' blog. So I've mentioned before I was in this wedding. The dress is called "Pool". And my big butt didn't fit in the dress. I got tired of people telling me I was over reacting. "It'll be fine. Don't worry" or "Please. You look little" was all I heard when I tried to talk about it a couple of months ago. Guess what? I took proof there WAS something to worry about. So approaching my challenge, I took pictures. And no one has ever seen them........before now. So go ahead and look. They are a little blurry. It's hard to stand in a 12 inch bathroom, in a dress that is too small, try and take pictures, and pray no one in the house found you doing it.

It sorta fit from the front........

Wow, didn't know I was the pregnant bridesmaid.......

This is really how far it zips up.......

So, the question is........does the dress fit? Well, after shedding 12 pounds, I am proud to say it does. I don't look great in it, but that sucker zips up. I probably won't blog again before the weekend, so you'll just have to sit in suspense until my next post when I put the wedding pictures up to see the finished product. Tomorrow I go for the nail/toe thing (with Missy of course). After that, I will be moving on to turn my one eyebrow into two again. I love when I get to pay lots of money to be all princess-like for a weekend.