I owe y'all an explanation huh? The blogger neglect, the sad poem from my aching heart, all of it from deep within.
I've got issues. No really, I do. Turns out More Than A Single Mom isn't perfect. Ha ha. Just had to throw that in there.
It all started with a big fight with the Tiger (hence the poem). A really nasty, apologies can't take back what I said earlier fight. A fight like no other. A fight about Missy on top of it all. He broke my heart just days before Xmas and I didn't really think I would bounce back from this one. But, I did. I always do right? But, hmmmmmmm those words are still in the back of my head. I just can't seem to let shit go some days. I love the Tiger with all my heart. But, I won't lie. I love my daughter more. Is that bad? Her and I have a bond that will never change. I am protective of her. She's my baby. And we've been through hell and back before the Tiger came along......that he will never ever understand. Yes, we're still together. But, I feel different about it all. I can't help it. I just do.
My heart aches for my family. It's the season to be happy right? My aunt was hospitalized on Sunday, fighting for her life. She's still there. My mom and I went up there on Christmas Day. There's something ironic about that. Me and my mom, together, on Christmas Day......hanging out? Twas strange. Back to the story. I won't say much about my Aunt without Teaching Kindergarten's permission. It's her mama and her story to share. But, please bloggers, pray like you have NEVER PRAYED BEFORE. If anything happens to my aunt (who is secretly one of my favorite aunts) then I honestly don't know how I'll cope. She is one of the most wonderful people I have ever had the chance of knowing...........and she's supposed to live forever.
Yesterday I got to go to the movies with some very dear friends of mine and our kids. How is it that between the three of us, we managed to produce the most perfect, beautiful 5 1/2 children?? Seriously, our kids were so good in that theatre you would've thought we gave them tranquilizers. I was so very impressed since they all ranged from 4 to 7.......or is Luke still 3? Hmmm, I think he's 4. I love you both and I am soooooooo happy you guys agreed to take the kiddies out with me.
After the movies, things went back to normal. I got a frightful call from my mom that my stepdad had been in a car accident. Someone was trying to beat a car coming while trying to pull out of a gas station and in turn, rammed through the back of my stepdad's van. Thankfully, he is ok. Vans can be replaced. He could not. So, in that small silver lining, I am just happy because he was hit pretty hard and it could've been a lot worse.
I love you all. That's my story. December sucked ass for me. I just want the New Year to be here so I can stop wallowing in all this funk and move on.
P.S. My daughter can't stand me right now because I am gone 7 days a week working 2 jobs. Talk about a mouth on a cute kid. Anyone like to have her until Christmas Break is over???? She knows how to empty garbage and pick up toys and make up songs in the shower -- daily.