Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Some Days Are Good. Some Days Are Bad.

Life is still a constant roller coaster here. Some days I am ok with everything going on. Other days I feel so lonely and wonder if I am making the biggest mistake of my life. I love the Tiger. I really love him. I look at him everyday and wonder what went wrong. Why can't it be different? All along I thought it was him. We were breaking up because of him. As the days go on, I am beginning to think it's me. Maybe it's really not, maybe it's the guilt of looking at my life being packed up in boxes once again. Either way, the decision has been made and it's not something that can be changed now. It is what it is. But, sometimes I still feel so sad. As if now I am going to be alone forever. 30 is coming up next year. I always thought I'd be married long before 30. Looks like I'll be single.

House hunt is interesting. I enjoy seeing how others live and what they describe as a "spacious 2 bedroom with a beautiful view." I think I finally found the perfect place for me and Missy last night. I am waiting on my application to be mailed to me.

Job hunting is slow. I have an interview today for a temp to perm job at a steel company. If I could get it, that would mean some nice benefits. But, let's not try and get our hopes up here. I am rusty in all of this stuff.

7 comments:

Simplymoi said...

Without knowing every single detail, I'd hazard a guess that it's probably both of you. A relationship takes two people, and usually, so does a break up. I can't imagine the emotions that you are going through, just remember to hold on to what you do know - your daughter, your family, your friends, and the other things will come into place as they are supposed to. Good luck on the house and job hunting! Been praying for ya!

Mimi's Toes said...

Thinking about you. I don't think you will be alone forever. You are young and have a lot of life left, so don't give up on yourself. I know things will get better for you and Missy. Keep the faith.

addhumorandfaith said...

I'm thinking of you. I know you'll come out of this all right, Jen.

chrissy said...

You will be just fine! And 30 ain't nothing, it is just a more confident 20! There are quite a few things going on right now, praying they all work out perfectly, as they are supposed to. I don't care who you are, break ups are hard and the blame game takes a toll on everyone, and there doesn't always have to be blame, maybe that is just the way it is, to be better for everyone!

Ann(ie) said...

I so AGREE with my pal Chrissy above. 30 brings you freedom and confidence. I have enjoyed them so much more than my 20's. I'm fatter, but things are way BETTER! :) Hang in there, love. Riding through these times in life is never easy. We're here any time you need to talk. xo.

My Wonderful Men said...

Hang in there, I was 30 something before I re-married. You will find some one who is right for both of you.
I remember those feels you are feeling and it's hard. If you ever want to talk or ever need a night out I can babysit just email me. amyplumb@gmail.com

cassie said...

I just started blogging...I am a single mother too. I look forward to reading your posts..check out my blog when you have time :)